Secret Garden ～心和心之間互動的故事。

I'm sorry

2009-12-05T21:24:00.005+08:00

I'm truly sorry that I have to go.
I'm truly sorry that things doesnt work out before I give up. One can only have that much of energy, dignity as well wisdom to complete a task.

I'm sorry that I expect things differently than you expected.

I'm sorry that I cant go on without your presence in my life at all. I dont see you, dont feel you, dont get help and comfort from you to keep me going hence I have to stop. Call me selfish, call me shallow, call me anything u want. It is just me. Dont say I never try, you never did.

I'm sorry that I'm not contented with the things that you are affordable to give me.

I'm sorry that I don't enjoy the time with you as a lover, only as a friend.

I'm sorry for being greedy and wanting more.

I'm sorry that I couldnt be an even greater person in your life anymore. It's just me, no matter how, it surface out.

I'm sorry that I would rather risk of spending the rest of my life in loneliness than staying put here with you. If you truly value me you wouldnt have stopped me. Please dont say chances are not given just because you didnt realize it has been given out.

I'm sorry for being a plant and needed to be watered regularly. Too bad I am way too dry out by now.

I'm sorry that I have no more strength to keep things going nor helping you through future stages anymore.

I'm just sorry that I dont keep my promise for the first time, while you have been accused of it for a thousand times.

I'm sorry that things are not as what it seems.

I'm sorry that the truth only reveal now.

I'm too sorry that we are experiencing this very special experience at this point of our life, that things only surface out after a while, a very long while, many long years. Before it did, we were all-happy, all-singing, all-dancing crap of this world.

One thing I am happy and unexpected is that you are able to take it positively. And finally you buy my theory of molding this family into a new way. We are still very much compatible afterall, arent we?

2009-06-26T13:31:00.001+08:00

請看兩周一聚 2weeks1gather 網址。

沒人願意停留，一同聆聽生命的聲音。

2009-06-26T09:20:00.023+08:00

看著蛋白粉慢慢地溶入咖啡中，想起了你。
想起你說過每天如何與安利快樂地過日子的去年夏天。
我喝了一口比平日不同的咖啡，感受著炎日的街上和你聊天的日子。

秋風起的時候，有你徘徊左右。
你讓我在風雨中把你想了千百遍。
你說此生再也不必向風兒傾訴了。你說，永遠。

冬至時家人拍團照，少了我一人。
我們在感受著生命的奇跡。
心裡的創傷，被相互呵護。
此生中惟一的一次知道原來我的夢想是可以成真的！
原來我一直要的並不奢侈，了解我的你，把夢中的都給了我。

初春之時你日日夜夜伴隨左右無怨無悔讓人窩心。
昨天你說：你還在。

可是我終於懂了。每人都在，每人也都不在。

夏秋冬春。
我只是想找個伴兒。
原來並不容易。

原來沒人願意停留，一同聆聽生命的聲音。

相同的是，我還是孤獨一人
不同的是，我擁有過了你。

我再也不尋也不覓了。
我懂了。
You will come when I least expect it.

致四號浪漫情人

2009-04-04T21:48:00.001+08:00

你和我
我倆默默無言相對
卻恍惚一切都盡在不言中。
似乎是最心知的另一半；
卻也是最無奈的組合。

因為呀～
人世間紅男綠女總在忙與盲著尋覓另一半；
在過程中把心中的完美人格投射在情人身上，
希望他／她如此這樣那般。
有一天當小倆口不再容忍和妥協，才會真相大白。
其實尋找另一半就是尋找自己，看見自己所要的到底是什麼。

好可惜
你是只能會意不能言傳的小啞巴
我但願我倆能好好珍惜這份緣
這份可遇不可求的相知。

但願你在未來的日子裡
想清楚目標再重新出發。
我已經想好了，你呢？

你還在尋覓，還是已經到點了呢？
如果你答後者的話，我要你說“現在”是"你的終點"我才相信你真的到點了。
我也還未到點，但我比常人多快了一步，
我看到它了，我真希望能再跨一大步就到了。。。卻還遠呢。
祝福我吧～

Instructions for Life by The Dalai Lama

2009-03-28T22:21:00.003+08:00

Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

Follow the three R’s:
- Respect for self,
- Respect for others and
- Responsibility for all your actions.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.

When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Spend some time alone every day.

Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.

Be gentle with the earth.

Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

~ The Dalai Lama ~

A weeping little birdy

2009-03-28T20:52:00.012+08:00

Dear Diary

My 11-year Pakistani best friend S asked me, what do i envision after the divorce. I really dont know. Although I have a physical plan to spend the rest of my life with my parents and family instead of my husband and my child, but emotionally I'll be still empty. Im not sure if this is a right choice at all.

He is angry and disappointed at me when I announced it to him. He went through the memory with me by telling me he was there to witness how truly happy I was when I told him I was going to marry my little prince and how this family has been built up steps by steps with his blessings. At the same time, he blames himself for it is all of his faults for not able to care of me all these years due to his busyness or should have walked me through those stormy days and not able to stop me to proceed in my decision of divorce. He only get to know this news from me when I declared 'Im gone' & 'Im through with it'.

He didnt expect/accept any of my answers, he merely want to make me think. As ever, he enjoys using set theory to break into many facts and tried to convinced me. I appreciate all that, but I insist that 'Im gone' and I cant be back anymore. Nothing is ever same anymore.

"When two are in love, they have a little secret place wishes to be forgiven and loved by the lover as a whole set."

He showed me his and I spent all that I can to show him that I dont mind and I dont care, and I will be with him till we apart. However, I haven't got a chance to show him mine all along the way. A little negative signs has stopped me to try sharing more... I end up hiding or he didnt care to find out or it was fate...

Today when I looked back, I cant do it anymore - I cant hide this little place with me anymore. I want it t be shared, to be cared for, to be loved by someone who wants and knows how to love me completely. By given time he has not realized there is such a little place in me that wishes to be found out, forgiven and appreciated...

Im sorry but to judge that he has no ability to love me/get to know me enough for me to go on living with him.

It is very beautiful picture we have painted for our little family of three. Each day we start it with plenty of love and countless kisses to each other. Each night we spend wonderful time together laying on bed in laughters and until our child sleeps soundly. We are close friends among us three. I spent the last nine months to try to tear off this beautiful picture in my heart. I see a cold-hearted mother/wife who does it without regret. I couldnt believe it myself but each time I tested her, she gives the very same answer.

My mind is cracking into two sides, the white-silvery angel side and the black-red devil side.

You love them!

You cant live without them!

You love this picture!

You wanted it!

You want this picture more than anything!

This is much more better/beautiful than you could ever imagine!

You will regret it!

You would wish you didnt have done it.

Even when you come back, it wont be same anymore.

Yes, your hugs and kisses are all real and truthful, but you are not fulfilled.

You are merely "doing your job" because you are a perfectionist.

You wish yourself to be cared for, and to be loved, and they dont! Or at least, not as what you expected.

They are boys! Boys! Boys can forget you relatively easy as you could forget them.

They are better off with their new toys.

You are a meal, you are a nanny, you are a sense of security!

You are a wife, an accomplishment, sex, toy to show the world that he is completed.

One day I read a young blogger's romance blog. She said this is how she will judge who should she stay happily ever after with, by having positive answers for the following questions:

Do I want to see him grow old with wrinkles all over him?

Do I want to see him sick in bed, plus smell of sickness and hospital?

Do I want to be seen by him when Im in this condition?

Do I want to be taken care by him when Im blind/handicapped/urine-incontinence/cancer/AIDS?

My answers are Yes for the first two, I have been doing these all these while by having high level of tolerance with anything came to me. But for the last two questions, my answers are no. Im not ready to show him any of my imperfections. He prefers simple life. He prefers to settle things instead of sharing things.

I dont know who do I have after Im gone. I really dont know. My heart aches badly. I have been good for everyone or anyone I try to be with and this is what I get when Im in need? A feeling of insecure. How pathetic.

T is great, he is available for himself and for me, that makes him a T. We make a good pair together. I dont know, maybe we are merely physically fit with condition. We seem like a husband and wife that we wanted for each other but we had a miss-match with our lawfully half. And then, to come to here today, it is too late, we are already seriously injured from the previous hope and now we are both emotionally handicapped. Im better off without hope or expectation. He doesnt want to pick me up himself. No one ever would take such a responsibility. No one could, can, want, able to, should. Am I looking at another trial and future failure now? Am I getting into another fail experiment? Do I want to experience that? No. No more romance. All these while, I've been merely asking for a companionship, havent I? So, a company is he going to be.

Many friends around me told me how much they are jealous about my life, or I should say, they admire my lifestyle. Through out the past years, whenever I fell, Im being cushioned no matter how low I had been to in my life. And each time Im able to bounce much higher. Yes they are right. Maybe Im greedy, maybe Im asking too much. However, to me, I insist that, all I ever ask for is the very basic need, love. Love me, love my heart, take care of my heart. And in exchanged of this little primitive need, I'm willing to give it all up. Take my jewels, fashion, skin-care, youth, travel trips... take it all away. I dont care. Today we sold the HFC unit with +40m. I was an owner for this prestige little unit for 4 years. So what? Im not happier and Im not having little excited when it came or when it is gone. So, once again, I'm proven to myself day after day, I want to do this. Yes I want to do this.

One day, the same group of friends would roll up their eyes big when I announced this to them. Im a legend, a forever legend for them. A dumber. A dreamer. Whatever u want to call it after my back. You know it, I dont care.

Infinity of love

A weeping little birdy.

I am being blackmailed today.

2009-03-24T15:26:00.005+08:00

I am being blackmailed today. Below this passage is a typed version by my family member, I dont get to see and feel the quality of the paper, with or without company logo.

Maybe I do have poor memory about my past life before I officially left my home country some 9 years ago, but I seriously couldnt convince myself that I did leave with a debt and trying to shake it off by living in other country. I thought I left only sweet and good memories, apparently Im not, and Im being questioned of myself every few years. Old issues surface out every few years.

If not mistaken, i could not have been graded for more than RM3,000 credit for a credit card some 10 years ago. So I had used RM3,000 and now raised to RM20k? This sounds too nonsense to me, but it still worries me because:

1) I cant be 100% sure that I do not have any personal info with this bank, even it was known as a merged bank some 10yrs ago.

2) Although the payment method looks serious, only the bank can accept such a money, but it still looks suspicious=such a big amount I expect I get a formal legal letter, instead of being threadterned for collectors to my parents home.

I suspect it is spam due to following reasons:

1) I dont see my personal IC#, it doesnt look formal to me.

2) The contact person do not have a surname

3) Both email address do not look formal to me.

I will verify this address personally in my upcoming trip to KL. Your opinions are very much appreciated.

Thank you!

**

Sxxxxx SOLUTION SDN BHD (590xxx-N)

Date: 11/03/2009

-my full name-
-my home address-

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

RE : CREDIT CARD ACCOUNT NO: 06-0101-5-xxxxx-x

We are acting on behalf of Axxxxx (M) BERHAD. Our client states that your account is overdue and you are requested to make payment of RM 19,767.65 as at 31-01-2009 immediately to us. All cheque’s must be mailed to the above in favour of Axxxxx (M) BERHAD (account payee only). Take notice that if payment is not received within 14 days from this date hereof, Axxxxx (M) BERHAD and our Company will take necessary action to recover the total debt due from you. Such action will include collector’s visits both to your house and office, legal action and all such recourse available to them and to us in law. Under the terms and conditions you would be liable for all expenses, costs and disbursements incurred including accumulating interest until full settlement. This matter will be pursued until settlement and will include bankruptcy proceedings s the case may be.

To avoid unnecessary costs and expenses we suggest you contact us immediately with a view to settlement.

Please ignore this notice if payment has been made. Thank you.

Officer in Charge: Ms. Lisa

Contact No: 03-4026xxxx / 019-384xxxx / 013-397xxxx

Facsimile: 03-4023xxxx
E-mail: securxxxxx@yahoo.co.uk

Sxxxxxxxxxx Solution Sdn Bhd
No. xx, Jalan xxx
Off Jalan Pahang Barat
Pekeliling Business Centre
53300 Kuala Lumpur
03-4026 xxxx (General)
03-4023 xxxx (Fax)
secxxxxx@streamyx.com

Black Pepper Maniac 黑胡椒狂人

2009-03-17T14:25:00.011+08:00

I am a black pepper maniac.

I love to have very fresh grounded black pepper on almost everything I have: congee, soup, salad, spaghetti, my favorite penne rigate... I even had to ground some on the Tuna Sandwiches I made last week, even i had a few bites already.

When I was a little girl, I was told in Chinese tradition that pepper could help us to reduce unwanted gas in our digest system. I guess im over-practice this :P

I guess I have the smug faces whenever I ground my very-own black pepper grinder at home. But it is not a matter of prestige. I am probably another childish kid who loves to play with the grinder, enjoy the action, the sound made, and seeing different pieces fall into my bowl and smell the freshness of the pepper.

Being adopting natural consume of food intake and beware of detoxification, somehow I have battles within me for I have been an extreme person in my entire life. Workaholic, blackpepperholic, alcoholic... I do try my best to stay calm and live in slow pace at most of the time.

The book Fight Club, by my favorite author Palahniuk stated we are living in this modern era with a kitchen full of condiments instead of fresh food. So true! When I first got the chance to set my very own first home as a newly wed, i filled my kitchen with lots of of 'new toys' and I got stabbed by the family, cos they adopt fresh food strategy in life and all they can find in my kitchen were instant drinks, instant foods, frozen food, and my museum of western condiments which they hadnt seen before...

I know I should have better control off those condiments but no matter what, I cant get it out of my little condiment tray. I did take a good look at my tray and concluded that I can lost all of them, but not my very own personal black pepper grinder, with black pepper always filled in, of cause.

So, one day if you want to bring me a little gift, this is it :)

A little personal note in a small card would be a big plus.

"Things that we owned, end up owning us" by Palahniuk.

I am trying my best to practice a free state of mind for not trying to own anything in my life, not anything materistically. I guess we somehow try to define who we are, by having the materials in life, which isnt healthy style of living.

你一定還未遇過黑胡椒狂人吧！

我就是了：）我幾乎是無黑胡椒不歡的。當然我最享受是在家裡親自為我自己的食物磨上一些香噴噴的黑胡椒。粥湯沙拉粉面類我都不會嫌多。

我的飲食之道是減少調味料，可是既是我能把其它的多扔掉，黑胡椒是少不了了。我也知道不能過量，也只是心血來潮寫來跟大家聊聊罷了。

我是極端的擁護者。我也身受極端的弊處。身為美容顧問我還是提倡大家一定要多喝水，多蔬果，多五穀類，多睡眠，少肉，少調味料，少咖啡因／酒精。

The Seven-year Period

2009-03-17T11:03:00.007+08:00

This typical terms would remind most of us for the movie by this famous flim image, The 7 Year Itch, by M.Monroe.... that we get bored in our marriage and looking for an affair. NO, I'm not talking about marriage here today.

In western world, there is a paradox about the 7-year circle, that every seven year there are some significant issues happen in our life. It is said we would have something special in our 7th, 14th, 21st, 28th, 35th, 42th birthdays and so forth. I find it interesting and try listing out my life here as echo to one of my blogger friends' blog here

Jane@7-year-old

Couldnt remember much about it except I have taken a good photo in this age that I keep till today.

Jane@14-year-old

I was in first formal year of Secondary school and I have made many good friends in this year, which lasted till today. We share the very same life perspective, art and music.

And, I moved for the very first time in my life. There starts my non-stop tragedy of not able to stay in one place for more than 5 years in my life... from 14 till 33 last year.

Jane@21-year-old

I experience the poorest life I had in my life and seen the darkest of one's life. I was picked up and tried my best to bounce back as much as I could. Of cos, I did it.

Jane@28-year-old

I had an unpredicted pregnancy, and my child was born the next year.

Two more years to my 5th circle and i will tell you about it in Xmas of 2010 when I would have just passed my 35th birthday. The best I could predict it has something to do with my marriage. Of cos, I do wish life is full of surprises :)

Now, please share me about yours :)

冷雨夜 BEYOND 1991演唱会 - 家強

2009-03-14T11:01:00.004+08:00

We love the middle part in this concert from minute 3:00-4.49. I personally obsessed the last part from 4:26 onwards. You guitarists out there please share your kind thoughts :)

冷雨夜 BEYOND 黄家驹1991演唱会

我去了

2009-03-14T05:20:00.002+08:00

我要你為明天歌唱

我帶著淚珠切切盼望 我去了

我去了

明天的花兒一樣香 我去了

我去了

明天的太陽一樣光

我要你為明天歌唱

我帶著淚珠切切盼望

分別了

分別了

明天的美酒你獨嚐

分別了

分別了

明天的歌曲你獨唱

為了我們明天難相見

此恨綿綿問蒼天 把枕邊細語

一句句記在心田 對明天陽光

一聲聲引吭向前 明天

明天

我們在夢中再相見啊啊啊啊

我要你為明天歌唱

我含笑留下這篇詞章

忘了吧

忘了吧

明天不再是哀傷 記住了

記住了

明天是充滿了希望

明日之歌
蔡琴 / 不了情

What is available. Is it your available or my available?

2009-03-13T22:20:00.001+08:00

I. Am. Available. Tonight. If. You. Need. Me.

SMS if you want to see me online.

I would like to try and be the replacement for the bottle. But it is
all your preference. I'm fine either way. Am just telling I'm
available, is all.

***

Please be available in my blog/comments

Im heartfully available, but physically, i have to watch a movie with him

Sweet. thanks. But u cant be a replacement of the bottle. u cant get me there. anyway, how sweet of you. thanks, heartfully.

U cant get me the swings, the forgetful, this sweet, this wonderful... try get drunk, then u wont want anyone/anything to replace this....

love ya.

2009-03-13T22:04:00.006+08:00

Today I stayed in a children playground with Mo for almost 7 hrs. Im insane, am I not? Im crazy. But, we went for meal for 3 times, toilet 3 times, went back home to pick up toys for 4 times. Anyway, Im just absolutely insane to keep my child in the same park for 7 hrs, am I not?

At 5pm, I sms to Ed and told him about this. He hated me. Told me to go away. Told me that I should have taken him to some other indoor places to make him learn something instead of staying in this very outdoor place where he can come everyday after school, nearby to where we stay.

I explained to him with the following reason and he stays quiet = is there anyone out to stop staying quiet to Jane please? Tell her that she is wrong please! But, none of you could ever beat her:

Come, hear me out= this is the why:

Here's the reason: He loves it. He gets to play all of his fav. spots which he cant play as long he wished to in the way he wants it in weekdays the 1-hour, in normal weekdays!!

Today is one of the best day in his life that he didnt have to worry about when is the big brothers were coming to get him out of the merry-go-round, spin as fast they want it to, push him off the slide, kick him out of the basketball stadium, ... and smugger away his toys that he brought to share with everyone....

Now, tell me am i still a mad mother who stay in a part with her child for 7 hrs in a day? Im only trying to stay him in creative mind from my daily ridig education/demands.

Im drunk by all means, but im not drunk at all right this moment in my life cos i wont regret this very moment... do you?

醉

2009-03-13T21:29:00.014+08:00

喝醉了有什麼不好的嗎？

我找不到有什麼不好的原因，因為每當我醉了：身邊的人（網上／身邊的）:

終於肯聽我說話了

=他們都趁我看來醉了的時候問了我好多好多平日不敢問我的問題；

我也持酒賣單純，答了他們要聽的話＝當然都是我想“答”的話＝

天呀！什麼時候人們才能真心想對呢？

您也太封閉了罷？醉＝一定就是負面的麼？

讓我去罷。

你是知道的，我根本醉不了。

LET ME GO.

Is there any particular reason when you told me to say sober?

Why must I? Why should I? CHILL OUT!!! Are you sure it is ALL GOOD for me when you told me to do so? Well, why dont you just stay relaxed and come get drunken with me! It is all great here. U would worry at least 50% less than usual, and you would feel happy easiER than usual! It is all great experience here. Come join me. :) Love you.

... at least, Im able to publish a blog entry without regret here: would you be able to do so?

你有想過嗎？

2009-03-13T18:43:00.014+08:00

Q1. What do you work for? Salary? Killing time? Job satisfaction? Because everyone does, so I should?

你工作是為了什麼呢？薪水？消磨時間？工作的滿足感？因為每個人都這樣，所以我也需要這樣？

Q2. Seriously, if not for money, would you work?

說真的，如果不是為了錢，

你還會去工作嗎？

Now most of you had told me about your future plan is to wait for retirement.

Working is to save as much as possible and go traveling around the world, Enjoy life, Reading, etc.

好了。每個人都告訴我說，今天明天的目的，就是等退休。５５歲。還有一大截呢。現在還是埋頭苦幹去吧！退休後就環遊世界去。看書去。享活去。享兒孫福去。

Q3. I will pick 'Travel' as example cos this is the highest answers I have gathered. Imagine you are retired today. No worries of

money.

就那最多人選的“環遊世界”來說吧。請幻想你今天已經退休了。無金錢憂慮的日子。

Where would you like to go traveling to?

你想到哪遊玩去？

What would you do in the trip?

你在旅遊時會怎樣去享受此旅程？

Who would you take with you?

If your spouse isnt available, would you mind going alone?

你希望誰跟你在一起？如果先生／太太不能同行的話，你會一個人去嗎？

Would you be physically fit to enjoy the journey?

你的身體狀況能耐的住嗎？

Would you have the peace of mind to study the places before traveling?

If you dont do this, why would you go traveling in the first place if you dont appreciate the art and culture of the place? Just because everyone go there so I should?

年邁的你能有閒情打開書本學習旅行知識嗎？如果不學的話，難道只為了看看外國的月亮是否特別圓嗎？還是只是因為每個人都去過了所以我也要去？

我知道你看到這裡就想要揍我了。你一定想說我天天在家太空閒想太多了，還寫出來給你制造麻煩。我只是看不過眼每個人都把今天該作的事通通推到明天去。沒珍惜時間`身體`人。我不介意你想揍我，只是我已經看不到我的人生意義何在了。

Q4. Imagine you have accomplished EVERYTHING now. Would you mind to leave this world now? Would you leave with a smile? Welcome this day to come as joyous as you

welcome other happiness in life?

如果你已經把此生一直想要完成的事多做完了。那，你是否就願意面對死亡呢？能開心的面對嗎？

Q5. What if you have accomplished all of these when you are only 33 years old? :)

"Now, whats next? Daddy."

如果以上４題都回答了，請寫電郵給我。

Why Do Age Old Problems Remain?

2009-03-12T21:02:00.000+08:00

Why Do Age Old Problems Remain?

ne of the biggest problems with life in this developed world is the quick—fix mentality.

Stressed out? Take a nap.
Feeling down? Pop a prozac pill.
Lost a Relationship? See a therapist or drown your sorrows with some drink.
Suffering from Anger? Take another pill.
Gaining weight? Try the diet fad of the month.
Seeking Spirituality? Read this 1,000+ year old religious book and you’ll be saved.

Let me tell you—there are no quick fixes.

At least not at the conscious level.

But fortunately, the Human Mind has Multiple Levels.

Most of the solutions attempt to solve the problem on the surface level. They completely ignore the underlying problem.

Solving the symptom and not the problem is a lousy way to go about self-improvement.

Everyone has the same innate abilities to get in touch with their spiritual self (perhaps you already sense this) but just don’t know how to get started. It’s so simple, really. In fact… if you had the right teacher, you could get a jumpstart with your own abilities.

What Is Possible

Imagine for a moment—if you could tap into your inner mind to directly pull out solutions to your deepest set problems.

Lost in religion? Imagine if you could feel a constant connectedness to God and discard the dogma and religion feeds you.

Gaining weight? Imagine if you could avoid the fad diets—but see yourself lose weight because your mindset has changed. You feel hungry and full at the right times; your metabolic rate stays up.

Depressed? Imagine if you could instantly understand the source of your depression and then reprogram your mind to pull you out.

Missing your goals? Imagine if you could create coincidences with your mind—just like the many masters who have walked the world can.

Unhealthy? Imagine if you could automatically induce the placebo effect to speed up your body’s natural rate of healing.

Now Imagine If…

You had the knowledge. Imagine if you’d spent the world studying various mental disciplines—and had attained a degree of self-mastery where you can tap into your inner power to help you resolve life’s most urgent problem.

How would your family benefit? Whom would you influence? What would you seek to change about this world? How will you be remembered when you pass on? Who will you teach?

Or the biggest question of all.

How would you leave your mark on humanity?

Out of Track... is out.

2009-03-06T12:01:00.011+08:00

Hi guys

This is the owner of this blog, Out of Track, or Jane.

I have decided to delete this blog in coming weeks in order to stop wasting everyone's time.

Without any updates, it has hit more than 5000 visits within 5 months last year and constantly competing with some other 7000+ blogs and remain not fall below the 1900 in the rank.

And I get visitors from all over the world, ....for nothing.

It has been a great experience to me in the past 8 months to 'manage' this blog (although not much personal entries) by experiences what I have with you. As 'no regret' as my first life principle, I would really like to let you know it has been all great memory to have you with me all these while. I hope you will continue having interest to get to know me. All of your comments to my blog entries have been very valuable to me, no matter they are good or bad comments or long in paragraphs or short as :-), I appreciate them all. And I love you guys a lot more than you can imagine :))

The original idea of this blog was to share my news as well as to introduce blogging as a habit to everyone who cares of me a lot back in my hometown, Sandakan. The target readers arent active as I thou I could help them with, and it effects my sharing as well. I have been trying to figure out some other ways to achieve the same thing and here comes a solution for myself, to share in person. I guess it echo to a book I read some months ago about our actions shows who we are. Apparently the need of seeing/spending time with everyone I love in my hometown has been greater each day and I finally cant stand of it anymore and came out with this solution, for going back home to visit them as much/soon as I could. Therefore this blog is no longer necessary.

For my new batch of readers/new friends who has been keeping up with this blog for getting to know me, I sincerely thank you for your kind thoughts and Im sure we can get along pretty well in some other forms, eg, via emails/facebooking. Im sorry for I might have disappointed some of the English readers as I have not been able to fulfill the promise of more English posts.

I sincerely thank you for all of your time to read/link up this blog to yours, and your care and love.

Thank you for reading up to this, the last para... here's a small tiny reward for you, since you look like u truly want to get to know Jane:

Im sharing more of my own personal feelings in another blog with some private readers should you are interested to get to know the absolute genuine Jane please feel free to let me know and I shall invite you there.

As ever with infinity of love

Jane

2009-03-03T10:54:00.001+08:00

Edit

Choose to do ONE chore in your entire life, what will it be? 10:52am

Answer this and you will get an answer reflects your subconscious.

1) wash dishes
2) mop the floor
3) cooking
4) throw away the rubbish

心理测验
如果一辈子只能做一见家务，你会选择
(1）洗碗
(2）拖地
(3）做饭
(4）倒垃圾

The big wind blows.....“大風吹，吹走有小雞雞的人！”

2009-03-01T11:00:00.010+08:00

“大風吹，吹走有小雞雞的人！”

“大風吹，吹走有牙肉的人！”

“大風吹，吹走有今天有大便過的人！”

：）

The big wind blows away everyone who has... a little dick!!

- cousin sis was blushed cos she would have lost her place

The big wind blows away everyone who has... a gum!!

-everyone laughed instead of start moving

The big wind blows away everyone who has... shit this morning!!

-no one moves! God! U guys got motion issues??!?!

:DDD

你知道國學嗎？GUOXUE

2009-02-28T13:38:00.010+08:00

你知道國學嗎？以最新的科學方法將舊學分科整治，摘其粹存其真。

普及國學是我們的職務。

Are you aware of the new Chinese study namely Guoxue? It is a study in mixture of our culture of 5000 years in one. We are not to be bound with questions under our neck by the culture anymore. Please find out more from:

Appreciate Guoxue as it is

The MOMsense - Anna Roefrend

2009-02-28T13:26:00.003+08:00

If you haven't seen this yet, watch! If you have, it's worth watching a few more times! She is so talented and funny, I think I've watched it five times and still get a kick outta it! Whether or not you're a mom, it's funny! It's a day in the life of a mom sung to the William Tell Overture in about 2 minutes!

Enjoy!

Get up now, get up now,

Get out of bed

Wash your face

Brush your teeth

Comb your sleepy head

Here's your clothes

Your shoes

Here the word I said

Get up and make your bed

Are you hot?

Are you cold?

Are you wearing THAT?

Where's your books?

And your lunch and your homework at?

Grab your coat and your gloves

And your scalf and hat

Don't forget, you gotta feed the cat.

Eat your breakfast,

The experts tell us

It's the most Important meal at all.

Take your vitamins so you will grow up

One day to be big and tall.

Please remember your orthodontist will be seeing you at 3 today.

Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon so you must play.

Don't shovel, chew slowly.

But hurry, the bus is here.

Becareful! Come back here!

Did you wash, behind your ear?

Play outside, don't be rough.

Would you just play fair?

Be polite, make a friend.

Don't forget to share.

Work it out, wait your turn.

Never take a dare.

Get along, don't make me come down there.

Clean your room, fold your clothes.

Put your stuff away.

Make your bed, do it now,

do we have all day?

were you born in a barn?

would you like some hay?

Can you even hear a word I say?

ANSWER the phone.

get off the PHONE.

Don't sit so close, turn it down.

No texting at the table.

No more computer timeTONIGHT.

Your IPOD's my IPOD.

If you don't listen up.

Where are you going ,and with whom?

And what time do you think you're coming home?

Saying Thank you, Please, Excuse me

Make you welcome everywhere you roam.

You'll appreciate my WISDOM

Someday when you're older and you're grown.

Can't wait 'till you have a couple little children of your own.

You'll thank me, for the counsel,

I gave you, so willingly.

But right now I'll thank you not to roll your eyes at me.

Close your mouth, when you chew.

We'd appreciate.

Take a bite, maybe two of the stuff you hate.

Use your fork, do not burp.

Or I'll set you straight

EAT THE FOOD, I put upon your plate.

Get an "A", get the door.

Don't get smart with me.

Get a grip, get in here.

I'll count to 3.

Get a job, get a life.

Get a PHD.

Get a dose of...

I DON"T care who started it.

You're GROUNDED until you're 36.

Get you're story straight and tell the truth for once.

For Heaven's Sake.

And if all your friend,

Jumped off a cliff.

Would you juup too?

If I've said it once,

I've said it at least

A thousand times before.

That you're TOO OLD TO act this way.

It must be you're father's DNA.

Look at me when I'm talking.

Stand up straighter when you walk.

A place, for everything.

And everything must be in place.

Stop crying or I'll give you

Something real to cry about.(HA!)

Wash your face, brush your teeth.

Get your PJ's on.

Get in bed, give a hug.

Say a pray with MOM

Don't forget, I LOVE YOU.

And tomorrow we will do this all again.

Because mom's work will never end.

You don't need the reason why.

Because, because, because, because.

I said so, I said so, I said so, I said so.

I'm the MOM, the MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM

The MOM.

For my little elf, 魂牽夢繞的一天。

2009-02-27T15:02:00.005+08:00

魂牽夢繞的一天。

我又上了情債的當。

一日一夜為了你魂牽夢繞。

夜深之時，以為有你在旁。

日出之時，蕩漾的心照灑滿了的是你。

*魂牽夢繞 could literally metaphor mind and soul is being captured, exaggerated, of cos.

魂牽夢繞的一天。

Hun(soul) Qian(take) Meng(dream) Rao(take) de yi tian（one day)

Soul taken Dream is being strained, for one day.

我又上了情債的當。

Wo (me) you(again) shang le(get into) qing(love) zhai(debt) de dang(trap)

Im being fooled by the emotional debts again - metaphor: fooled by fact/reality/by own desire of love

一日一夜為了你魂牽夢繞。

yi re yi ye (one day & night) wei(becos) le ni(you) hun qian meng rao

A day and night to hold you in thoughts

夜深之時，以為有你在旁。
ye shen zhi shi, yi wei (thought) you (have) ni(you) zai(be) pang(side)
During dark hours, I thought of you being side of me.

日出之時，蕩漾的心照灑滿了的是你。
re(sun) chu(out) zhi shi(time), dang yang(shaken/moving) de xin(heart) zhao(put on) sha(too full and fallen) man (too full) le de shi(is) ni(you)
During daytime, shades of light metaphor the shaken heart, is all over on the floor with, you.

The last two lines simply exaggerated how one has captured the other's mind for a whole day with the description of darkness & sun shades at sight.

2009-02-13T16:27:00.001+08:00

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	31%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	55%
Type 3	Image Focus	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 4	Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	65%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	51%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	64%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	80%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	57%

Your main type is 7
Your variant is sexual

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

看到這六種生物請閃

2009-02-04T08:41:00.002+08:00

看到這六種生物請閃

看到這六種生物請閃不然會沒命

對人來說，世界上有太多太多容易致命的動物，但有些動物不僅會對人發動致命攻擊，而且靜靜地潛伏在暗處，不易被發現，時刻準備向入侵者發起攻擊。以下是它們中的6位代表：

1.雞心螺(Cone Snail)：可在4分鐘內奪去你的生命

雞心螺

雞心螺
你非常開心地在海邊散步，愉快地撿起一些更漂亮的貝殼，並丟掉稍遜一些的貝殼，樂此不疲地尋找一顆最適合裝飾你的辦公桌的貝殼。然而，在沒有任何預警的情況下，你突然感覺手被其中一只貝殼扎了一下，最初感到陣陣劇烈的刺痛，後來這種刺痛逐漸變得令人難以忍受，而且痛感不斷蔓延。雞心螺用帶倒勾的刺快速刺向你，瞬間功夫已經將現有最毒的神經毒素注入到你的體內。

2.箭毒蛙：接觸即可致命

箭毒蛙

箭毒蛙
例如，箭毒蛙靜靜地蹲在那裏，它們是一些顏色艷麗的微小樹蛙。它們看起來像一些裝飾品，箭毒蛙是綠葉中的一抹紅。然而如果接觸到它，你可能會在大約幾分鐘內喪命。前一刻你或許還在灌木叢中盡情玩耍，下一刻你可能就會躺在地上，身體抽搐不止，口吐白沫。這種毒蛙奪人性命的工具不是毒刺，不是用嘴巴咬，也不是毒液，覆蓋在它們鮮艷的身體上的明晃晃的黏液就足以要了你的命。它們是已知的世界上唯一一種能通過接觸殺死人的動物。它們跳躍的高度可達2英寸。

3.昆蟲世界裏的懶惰小醜

昆蟲世界裏的懶惰小醜

昆蟲世界裏的懶惰小醜
這種成年蛾就是只蛾，但是毛蟲身上的毛充滿令人討厭的東西，每年有很多人因為接觸這些毛蟲喪命。順便說一下，被這種毛蟲的毛毛刺傷的後果很不好：它們分泌的毒液是一種非常有效的抗凝血劑，隨著血液不斷流失，死亡將離你越來越近。

4.劍吻海蛇(Beaked Sea Snake)

劍吻海蛇

劍吻海蛇
另一種可怕的生物並不遵循常規，它是水棲世界奇怪的一員。你可能會根據常規經驗認為蛇都生活在幹旱地區。但是如果你劃船在波斯灣或印度沿海島嶼周圍轉悠，一定要時刻警惕鉤鼻海蛇(Enhydrina schistosa)激起的細碎波紋。

5.石魚(Stone Fish)靜待人們踩上它

石魚

石魚
現在還不是離開有關海洋的話題，討論其他話題的時候。在美麗的藍色大海深處，有兩種致命的生物會引起你的恐懼心理，讓你整夜難以安然入睡。說到較大的一種，當你沿著海底淺灘散步時一定要注意腳下，因為只要你不小心踩上它，就會有致命危險。

6.箱形水母稱得上是“棺材水母”

箱形水母

箱形水母
澳大利亞箱形水母是一種在澳大利亞和亞洲東南沿海可以發現的微小水母。這種水母僅有大約16英寸長，它有4個眼睛集中的地方，共有24只眼睛。箱形水母的觸須上生長著數千個儲存毒液的刺細胞，不僅惡意的攻擊，就連貝殼或皮膚不經意的剮蹭都會刺激這些微小的毒刺。只要有誰膽敢招惹它，它就會瘋狂地給任何人或東西注射已知最有效的神經毒素。就像你能夠在左上方的那張圖片上看到的情形一樣，在野外要注意箱形水母確實相當困難。

Don McLean - Vincent

2009-01-02T21:05:00.012+08:00

Don McLean, a pop singer in 70's, has his best two famous songs, "The American Pie" and "Vincent". I love "Vincent" when I heard the famous taiwanese singer Chyi reproduce it in late 80's.

這是一首由７０年代美國著名歌手Don McLean作給十九世紀何蘭畫家梵高 Vincent van Gogh 的名曲。這裡有詳盡的解讀梵高的名畫和此曲歌詞的意境。

飄亮的齊豫在她80年代出的英語專輯裡重唱了此曲，讓人回味無窮。被誉为“天籁之音”的齊豫原來在著名的UCLA取得人類學碩士！

Don McLean 的原唱版本：

Starry

starry night
paint your palette blue and grey

look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the
darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills
sketch the trees and the daffodils

catch the breeze and the winter chills

in colors on the snowy linen land.
And now I understand what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they did not know how

perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry
starry night
flaming flo'rs that brightly blaze

swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in
Vincent's eyes of China blue.
Colors changing hue
morning fields of amber grain

weathered faces lined in pain
are soothed beneath the artist's
loving hand.
And now I understand what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you
but still your love was true

and when no hope was left in sight on that starry
starry night.
You took your life
as lovers often do;
But I could have told you
Vincent
this world was never
meant for one
as beautiful as you.

Starry
starry night
portraits hung in empty halls

frameless heads on nameless walls
with eyes
that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the stranger that you've met

the ragged men in ragged clothes

the silver thorn of bloddy rose
lie crushed and broken
on the virgin snow.
And now I think I know what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity

how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they're not
list'ning still
perhaps they never will.

McLean wrote this song for Vincent Van Gogh, I think Starry Starry Night might be the title of one of the landscapes done by Van Gogh, not sure on that one. McLean manages to write the lyrics resonating Van Gogh's painting (impressionist) “paint your palette blue and grey.”, “Flaming flowers that brightly blaze Swirling clouds in violet haze”.

McLean recognizes his humanitarian efforts "Like the strangers that you've met. The ragged men in ragged clothes." McLean empathises with him and the struggle that he had with his family, they rejected how he liked to help the poor "They would not listen They did not know how Perhaps they'll listen now." (They were a wealthy family.)

Van Gogh actually had a mental disease, he actually cut off his ear before he died (suicide) "And how you suffered for your sanity", "you took your life as lovers often do." I think McLean also links Van Gogh's family's values to the values of today's world. Throughout the song at the end of the refrain there is the line "They would not listen

They did not know how perhaps they'll listen now." until the last refrain when he sings "They would not listen. They're not listening still perhaps they never will." I think he looks at the state of the world regarding hunger and poverty in dismay. A most beautiful song, apparently one of Tupac Shakur's favourite songs.

This song is written about Vincent van Gogh. His life, his soul, everything was expressed through his art. Many artists choose to do what they do to express things when words cannot suffice. Van Gogh did not know how do express everything to other people in words, so he used his paints.

Vincent was a very unique person--not many of his "nature" are found throughout history; the spirit that he possessed was one that was extremely beautiful. Not many people could see this; he could, and he knew that he was different.
The other interpretation of this song posted is okay, but I feel like the author misses the point of what Mclean was saying, and who van Gogh was, for that matter. "Now I understand what you tried to say to me and how you suffered for your sanity, and how you tried to set them free" speaks of Vincent's reaching out to the world, and how he was misunderstood by his generation and by the people still today. He could see things with amazing clarity, but people today still don't understand. The world his blind--van Gogh knew it, and now Mclean is acknowledging that he, too, can see it. Notice, he even follows this with "perhaps they'll listen now" (though later he comes to the realization that society will never get it, when he ends the song with "perhaps they never will").
As for the phrases concerning love, compassion and emptiness, these are all about his persona.

I have not the time to elaborate more fully. To discuss this further you can email me at krispys777@yahoo.com if you so wish.

The Second Jane's "My-Trip"

2008-12-29T12:06:00.007+08:00

Malaysia Holidays 2009

I've decided to make Mo's 2009 summer break meaningful, by taking him home to Sandakan to spend time with his mother's family and spend time with everyone, for 1.5 months! ... which is also my little break I plan for myself to stay away from the hectic lifestyle here.. :P Apparently I get addicted to stay away from here and Im going to plan more in future and fly off from HK more often...

HOLIDAY MOOD is on!!!!

2008-12-09T14:41:00.007+08:00

This is where you can find me in between 14th-21st Dec :)

Yeah!!!

HOLIDAY MOOD is on!!!!

My contact numbers will be provided in 4 days time.....

Can You Become a Creature of New Habits?

2008-12-03T10:01:00.002+08:00

UNBOXED

Can You Become a Creature of New Habits?

By JANET RAE-DUPREE

Published: May 4, 2008

HABITS are a funny thing. We reach for them mindlessly, setting our brains on auto-pilot and relaxing into the unconscious comfort of familiar routine. “Not choice, but habit rules the unreflecting herd,” William Wordsworth said in the 19th century. In the ever-changing 21st century, even the word “habit” carries a negative connotation.

So it seems antithetical to talk about habits in the same context as creativity and innovation. But brain researchers have discovered that when we consciously develop new habits, we create parallel synaptic paths, and even entirely new brain cells, that can jump our trains of thought onto new, innovative tracks.

Rather than dismissing ourselves as unchangeable creatures of habit, we can instead direct our own change by consciously developing new habits. In fact, the more new things we try — the more we step outside our comfort zone — the more inherently creative we become, both in the workplace and in our personal lives.

But don’t bother trying to kill off old habits; once those ruts of procedure are worn into the hippocampus, they’re there to stay. Instead, the new habits we deliberately ingrain into ourselves create parallel pathways that can bypass those old roads.

“The first thing needed for innovation is a fascination with wonder,” says Dawna Markova, author of “The Open Mind” and an executive change consultant for Professional Thinking Partners. “But we are taught instead to ‘decide,’ just as our president calls himself ‘the Decider.’ ” She adds, however, that “to decide is to kill off all possibilities but one. A good innovational thinker is always exploring the many other possibilities.”

All of us work through problems in ways of which we’re unaware, she says. Researchers in the late 1960s discovered that humans are born with the capacity to approach challenges in four primary ways: analytically, procedurally, relationally (or collaboratively) and innovatively. At puberty, however, the brain shuts down half of that capacity, preserving only those modes of thought that have seemed most valuable during the first decade or so of life.

The current emphasis on standardized testing highlights analysis and procedure, meaning that few of us inherently use our innovative and collaborative modes of thought. “This breaks the major rule in the American belief system — that anyone can do anything,” explains M. J. Ryan, author of the 2006 book “This Year I Will...” and Ms. Markova’s business partner. “That’s a lie that we have perpetuated, and it fosters mediocrity. Knowing what you’re good at and doing even more of it creates excellence.”

This is where developing new habits comes in. If you’re an analytical or procedural thinker, you learn in different ways than someone who is inherently innovative or collaborative. Figure out what has worked for you when you’ve learned in the past, and you can draw your own map for developing additional skills and behaviors for the future.

“I apprentice myself to someone when I want to learn something new or develop a new habit,” Ms. Ryan says. “Other people read a book about it or take a course. If you have a pathway to learning, use it because that’s going to be easier than creating an entirely new pathway in your brain.”

Ms. Ryan and Ms. Markova have found what they call three zones of existence: comfort, stretch and stress. Comfort is the realm of existing habit. Stress occurs when a challenge is so far beyond current experience as to be overwhelming. It’s that stretch zone in the middle — activities that feel a bit awkward and unfamiliar — where true change occurs.

“Getting into the stretch zone is good for you,” Ms. Ryan says in “This Year I Will... .” “It helps keep your brain healthy. It turns out that unless we continue to learn new things, which challenges our brains to create new pathways, they literally begin to atrophy, which may result in dementia, Alzheimer’s and other brain diseases. Continuously stretching ourselves will even help us lose weight, according to one study. Researchers who asked folks to do something different every day — listen to a new radio station, for instance — found that they lost and kept off weight. No one is sure why, but scientists speculate that getting out of routines makes us more aware in general.”

She recommends practicing a Japanese technique called kaizen, which calls for tiny, continuous improvements.

“Whenever we initiate change, even a positive one, we activate fear in our emotional brain,” Ms. Ryan notes in her book. “If the fear is big enough, the fight-or-flight response will go off and we’ll run from what we’re trying to do. The small steps in kaizen don’t set off fight or flight, but rather keep us in the thinking brain, where we have access to our creativity and playfulness.”

Simultaneously, take a look at how colleagues approach challenges, Ms. Markova suggests. We tend to believe that those who think the way we do are smarter than those who don’t. That can be fatal in business, particularly for executives who surround themselves with like-thinkers. If seniority and promotion are based on similarity to those at the top, chances are strong that the company lacks intellectual diversity.

“Try lacing your hands together,” Ms. Markova says. “You habitually do it one way. Now try doing it with the other thumb on top. Feels awkward, doesn’t it? That’s the valuable moment we call confusion, when we fuse the old with the new.”

AFTER the churn of confusion, she says, the brain begins organizing the new input, ultimately creating new synaptic connections if the process is repeated enough.

But if, during creation of that new habit, the “Great Decider” steps in to protest against taking the unfamiliar path, “you get convergence and we keep doing the same thing over and over again,” she says.

“You cannot have innovation,” she adds, “unless you are willing and able to move through the unknown and go from curiosity to wonder.”

Janet Rae-Dupree writes about science and emerging technology in Silicon Valley.

Rosicrucian, Freemanson and Wicca

2008-12-02T18:04:00.004+08:00

Rosicrucian 玫瑰十字会

玫瑰十字会是一個根植于西方神秘传统的秘傳教团，以玫瑰和十字作為它的象徵。該會一直保持神秘，不為外人知曉。直至17世紀初，有人以匿名在德國發表三份關於該會的宣言，外人才知道它的存在。这个赫耳墨斯教团被早期的和许多现代的玫瑰十字会主義者视為一所来自内部位面的“看不见者的学院”，由伟大的法师们组成，目的是协助人类的靈性發展。玫瑰十字会的问候语是“愿玫瑰在你的十字上绽放”。

有一些现代团体自稱是玫瑰十字会的傳承者，不過很多玫瑰十字会历史研究者认为这些现代的玫瑰十字会员并非直接传承自17世纪的玫瑰十字会，他们只不过是热心的追随者。有人认为17世纪的玫瑰十字会根本不曾存在過，它只是一个文字骗局或恶作剧，也有人认为當時的玫瑰十字会是後來一些真實存在的社团的起源。

Freemason 共濟會

近代的共濟會（Freemasons）成立於18世紀的英國，是18世紀歐洲的一種帶有烏托邦性質及宗教色彩的兄弟會性質組織，作為世界上最龐大的地下組織，總部設於倫敦市中心高芬園，宣揚博愛的思想，以及美德精神，追尋人類生存意義，號召建立和平理想的國家。世界上眾多著名人士都是共濟會成員。全世界會員約有5百萬人，英格蘭，蘇格蘭及愛爾蘭會籍上約有48萬名會員，美國境內也有約2百萬名會員。

美生會並非宗教，但美生兄弟們是有信仰的。美生會並不取代宗教，而是彌補其不足。人們藉由宗教的方式得到解脫，美生會並不如此宣稱。美生會接納所有宗教的信仰，並且是將不同宗教、政治立場和社會背景的人融於一堂。假如不相信冥冥中有其主宰，他將無法在美生的精神上得到認同；而不相信有神的存在，自然也將被排拒於美生會的門外。

Wicca 威卡教

(Pantheism=Materialism+Atheism 泛神論乃是唯物主義的無神論)

是一種在英國和美國盛行的、新興的、多神論的、以巫術為基礎的宗教。威卡這個詞來於Witchcraft（巫術）的縮寫。

威卡教的信徒也自稱自己的宗教為「老宗教」（這個稱呼可以追溯到弗里德里希·施萊格爾）或者「老路」來表示威卡教的根源在於歐洲的魔術和原始宗教。也有些人將威卡教的儀式與薩滿教的儀式等同起來，將威卡教看作是薩滿教的一種。

從1994年開始美國承認威卡教為一種宗教並允許進行靈氣治療。

Friendship

2008-11-23T10:49:00.003+08:00

Life is short

They say, it takes a minute to find a special person,

an hour to appreciate them,

a day to love them,

but then an entire life to forget them.

When you are lonely, I wish you love.

When you are down, I wish you joy.

When you are troubled, I wish you peace.

When things are complicated, I wish you simple beauty.

When things are chaotic, I wish you inner silence.

When things look empty, I wish you hope.

人生

2008-11-19T09:30:00.006+08:00

- Picture's name: At the edge, from flickr

此文由網絡轉載

人生

0歲出場，
10歲快樂成長；
20為情徬徨；
30基本定向；
40拼命打闖；
50回頭望望；
60告老還鄉；
70搓搓麻將；
80曬曬太陽；
90躺在床上；
100掛在牆.
生的偉大，死得淒涼！

能牽手的時候，請別只是肩並肩，

能擁抱的時候，請別只是手牽手，

能在一起的時候，請別輕易分開！

當大部分人都在關注你飛得高不高時，
只有少部分人關心你飛得累不累

---------這就是友情，再忙也要照顧好自己，朋友雖不常聯繫卻一直惦念！

一切以健康為中心。

兩個基本點：遇事瀟灑一點，看事糊塗一點。

三個忘記：忘記年齡，忘記過去，忘記恩怨。

四個擁有：無論你有多弱或多強，一定要擁有真正愛你的人，

擁有知心朋友，擁有向上的事業，擁有溫暖的住所。

五個要：要唱，要跳，要俏，要笑，要苗條。

六個不能：不能餓了才吃，不能渴了才喝，不能困了才睡，

不能累了才歇，不能病了才檢查，不能老了再後悔!

What career will suit your personality?

2008-11-18T13:33:00.000+08:00

What career will suit your personality?

This description is a generalisation. If it rings true, you've found your career type. If it doesn't, return to the quiz, decide whether you answered truthfully, and not by what you think you should answer. Redo your answers and read your new results.

You would be very happy in a career that utilised your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to stimulate your senses and your mind, without having to be involved with lots of people. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:

Novelist
Photographer
Vet
Medical Technician
Paralegal
Geologist
Marine Biologist
Graphic Designer
Online Content Developer
Webmaster
Computer Security
Producer
Computer Programmer
Technical Writer
Systems Analyst
Meteorologist
Artist

You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private.

You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don't like being forced to answer quickly. You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses.

You like to be involved deeply in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others at all costs.

You trust what is certain. You only like new ideas if they can be practically applied to the situation. You value what is real. You use your common sense. You like to utilise the skills you have instead of learning new ones. You are very specific and detailed when writing or talking to others. You follow directions well. You like things to be laid out for you to do instead of working them out for yourself. You like decisions to be made. You don't like things to be left in limbo. You like to know what you are getting into before you commit to something.

You like to focus on the here and now. You enjoy completing projects. It is important for you to achieve and succeed. Therefore, you believe in working hard and playing later. You like to set goals and work towards them.

Discover your email personality

Chat on the Life in the Workplace message board

Test your emotional intelligence

Party Fortnightly「兩週一聚」

2008-11-15T20:38:00.033+08:00

前言: 這是一個叫「兩週一聚」的活動。是網友MICHELLE筆路發起。

每月十五日﹑三十日﹐一班住在世界不同角落的博客都會一起寫同一個題目。

今天是第二次相聚。主題定為「愛」。是廣泛的愛。

參加者只能用上七百個中文字(包標點符號)﹐來寫一個關於「愛」的短篇故事。

2008 October 30『兩週一聚』: 『我有一部時光機』

2008 November 15『兩週一聚』：『愛』

2008 November 30 『兩週一聚』：『朋友』

報名參加派對的有:

The Man Who Loves Everton Toffeeland 之愛

Michelle Petiteinote 師奶筆記之我有一部時光機愛

筆路: Come And Go 雲淡風輕這樣過之我有一部時光機愛

Mad Dog: Blah Blah Blah 之愛

Roxyer揚眉女子之我有一部時光機愛

Out of Track 思想出軌之你還記得愛嗎？愛．第三個月。 Friendship 朋友

媽媽阿四之種一棵愛

Auching小孜媽之我有一部時光機愛

athrunz 阿斯蘭薩拉之愛

讀與食 Readandeat 師奶愛美麗之如果我有一部時光機愛

Chyleung芸淡風輕之愛

zero零度空間之愛

Colour

2008-11-15T20:14:00.000+08:00

The Ultimate Color Test

When you are at peace, you are:

Thoughtful and sensitive

When you are moved to act, you are:

Confident and optimistic

When you are inspired, you are:

Spontaneous and adventurous

When your life is perfectly balanced, you are:

Light hearted and funny

Your life's purpose is:

To change the world

The Ultimate Color Test

Dear Joy, Welcome to the family! November 15, 2008

2008-11-15T17:53:00.006+08:00

Dear Joy and Ric

Today you are joined in marriage,
remember to always…
Be understanding of your partner’s needs.
Hold each other in the highest regard.
Have a sense of humour as you meet life’s challenges.
Honour one another when you are together or apart.
Respect each other’s differences.
Enjoy the good times, and endure the storms.
Make your dreams come true, together…
Most of all, love one another…

Love and regards from everyone at home.

弟弟越洋傳來了個喜訊。我衷心地祝福他們。

我不相信婚姻但我一定贊成婚姻。

這是人生。

已婚的你，來和我一同檢視自己的婚姻吧。

了解他的需要

滿滿的關愛

榮譽對方

尊重分歧點

分享分旦

一起把夢想成真

最重要的還是：彼此相愛。

看到這裡我想

到底，是誰違被婚約了？

取？捨？

2008-11-15T14:53:00.010+08:00

為何赤身裸體出現在公開場合，便是觸犯了「善良風俗」？

為何許多信徒難以想像上帝是黑人婦女？

為何以中指指著某人是非常糟糕的一件事？

為何我們不能直截了當地說：第歐根尼不過是一個發瘋流浪漢，耶穌也好不到哪裡去？

～《你管柏拉圖怎麼想》第28頁～

珍珍此生總是在追求底線。人生生活工作道德感情無一倖免。

只有看到了底線以後我才能放心的走下去。

今天看到此篇有趣的就寫來讓你瞧一瞧、想一想。

我給祖看了後，便問他：『同意又怎樣不同意又怎樣？你同意麼？』

他喻意人生價值觀的定位要如何把握。自閉如我倆公婆最討厭生活中繁文俗節。

團體生活有團體生活戒線。他常就是這樣晞噓長氣，把身邊的女子都迷的團團轉然後卻又不理解人家女孩兒情懷。他在這個他討厭的文化中長大，仍然討厭。學到的是平衡和接受。我看到雙重性格的他在追求完美當中苦得不能自拔。我從無到有至到完美的成就是因為身上流著「變」的血。變色龍一樣都是在不斷的依伏環境而變。沒有停留不加思索一直向前往﹣何處是家？何處是歇息處？

珍珍卻說，獨醉最痛。良人來和我結伴同行，咱倆不離不棄永相隨吧。

好的壞的執著的在乎的愛的恨的。。。不是「同行」最重要麼？

柏拉圖說過人到卅就需要正視哲學。但丁也說過假設人能活到70歲的話，35歲就是時候能看到人生的陰暗面。你開始了嗎？你對自己的過去滿意嗎？你對將來有信心嗎？

陳淑樺 - 笑紅塵 & 滾滾紅塵

2008-11-14T14:46:00.004+08:00

笑紅塵

  笑紅塵 - 陳淑樺       曲︰李宗盛      詞︰厲曼婷      編︰鮑比達

＊紅塵多可笑　癡情最無聊

目空一切也好

此生未了　心卻已無所擾

只想換得半世逍遙

＃醒時對人笑　夢中全忘掉

嘆天黑得太早

來生難料　愛恨一筆勾消

對酒當歌我只願開心到老

＋風再冷不想逃      花再美也不想要

任我逍遙

天越高心越小      不問因果有多少

獨自醉倒

今天哭明天笑      不求有人能明瞭

一身驕傲

歌在唱舞在跳      長夜慢慢不覺曉

將快樂尋找

重唱　＊,＃,＋,＋,＋

滾滾紅塵

滾滾紅塵 - 陳淑樺       曲︰羅大佑      詞︰羅大佑      編︰花比傲

起初不經意的妳

和少年不經世的我

紅塵中的情緣

只因那生命匆匆不語的膠著

想是人世間的錯

或前世流傳的因果

終生的所有

也不惜換取剎那陰陽的交流

來易來　去難去

數十載的人世遊

分易分　聚難聚

愛與恨的千古愁

本應屬於妳的心

它依然護緊我胸口

為只為那塵世轉變的面孔後的翻雲覆雨乎     ＊來易來　去難去　數十載的人世遊      分易分　聚難聚　愛與恨的千古愁      於是不願走的妳　要告別已不見的我      至今世間仍有隱約的耳語      跟隨我倆的傳說       重唱　＊       滾滾紅塵裡有隱約的耳語      跟隨我倆的傳說

歌詞

潘秀瓊情人的眼淚 Poon Sow Keng - Lover's Tears

2008-11-14T14:39:00.002+08:00

陳淑樺 1988 現場

林憶蓮MV

Birthdays

2008-11-13T11:04:00.002+08:00

Your Birthdate: June 15

You take life as it is, and you find happiness in a variety of things.
You tend to be close to family and friends. But it's hard to get into your inner circle.
Making the little things wonderful is important to you, and you probably have an inviting home.
You seek harmony with others, but occasionally you have a very stubborn streak.

Your strength: Your intense optimism

Your weakness: You shy away from exploring your talents

Your power color: Jade

Your power symbol: Flower

Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birthdate: November 1

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet.
You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily.
Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail.
You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details.

Your strength: Your supreme genius

Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity

Your power color: Gold

Your power symbol: Star

Your power month: January

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birthdate: November 9

You are a born idealist, with more pet causes than you can count.
You prefer be around others, both when working and while relaxing.
Generous and giving, you believe you can change the world one person at a time.
You're open minded and tolerant. People feel like they can tell you anything.

Your strength: Your go-with-the-flow flexibility

Your weakness: Your flair for the over dramatic

Your power color: Pine green

Your power symbol: Circle

Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birthdate: November 4

You have an extraordinary character - moral, responsible, and disciplined.
Your sincerely and honesty shine through in almost every situation.
Driven and focused, you rarely let your emotions get the better of you.
You're level headed and rational. People count on your to look at things objectively.

Your strength: Your unwavering loyalty and ethics

Your weakness: Your rock solid stubbornness

Your power color: Navy blue

Your power symbol: Shield

Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birthdate: August 3

You are more than a big ball of energy - you are a big ball of hyper.
You are always on the go, but you don't have a type a personality.
Instead of channeling your energy into work, you instead go for fun and adventure.
Witty and verbal, you can have an interesting conversation with anyone.

Your strength: Your larger than life imagination

Your weakness: You tend to be pretty scattered

Your power color: Lime

Your power symbol: Lightening bolt

Your power month: March

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birthdate: August 10

Independent and dominant, you tend to be the alpha dog in most situations.
You're very confident, and hardly anything ever shakes you.
Mundane tasks tend to drain you - you prefer to be making great plans.
You are quite original. When people don't "get" you, it bothers you a lot.

Your strength: Your ability to gain respect

Your weakness: Caring too much what others think

Your power color: Orange-red

Your power symbol: Letter X

Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birthdate: September 27

You are a spiritual soul - a person who tries to find meaning in everything.
You spend a good amount of time meditating, trying to figure out life.
Helping others is also important to you. You enjoy social activities with that goal.
You are very generous and giving. Yet you expect very little in return.

Your strength: Getting along with anyone and everyone

Your weakness: Needing a good amount of downtime to recharge

Your power color: Cobalt blue

Your power symbol: Dove

Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birthdate: May 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame.
You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them.
Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing.
You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship.

Your strength: Your charm

Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics

Your power color: Indigo

Your power symbol: Four leaf clover

Your power month: December

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birthdate: July 5

You have many talents, and you are great at sharing those talents with others.
Most people would be jealous of your clever intellect, but you're just too likeable to elicit jealousy.
Progressive and original, you're usually thinking up cutting edge ideas.
Quick witted and fast thinking, you have difficulty finding new challenges.

Your strength: Your superhuman brainpower

Your weakness: Your susceptibility to boredom

Your power color: Tangerine

Your power symbol: Ace

Your power month: May

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birthdate: February 17

You tend to find yourself lucky - both in business and in life.
And while being wealthy is nice, you enjoy sharing your abundance with others.
You put your luck to good use: you are very ambitious and goal oriented.
Often times, you get over excited and take on more than you can manage.

Your strength: Your ability to make your own luck

Your weakness: Thinking you can do it all

Your power color: Bronze

Your power symbol: Half Moon

Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birthdate: December 23

You're not good at any one thing, and that's the problem.
You're good at so much - you never know what to do.
Change is in your blood, and you don't stick to much for long.
You are destined for a life of travel and fun.

Your strength: Your likeability

Your weakness: You never feel satisfied

Your power color: Bright yellow

Your power symbol: Asterisk

Your power month: May

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

So Close - Jon Mclaughlin

2008-11-12T14:19:00.001+08:00

You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

Time falls away, but these small hours, still remain - Rob Thomas [Little Wonders}

2008-11-12T14:06:00.002+08:00

Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

Let it slide
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you
And I don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away somehow
But I cannot forget
the way I feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Yeah, these twisted turns of fate
Time falls away
Yeah, but these small hours,
These small hours
Still remain

Yeah, oh they still remain
These little wonders
All these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders
Still remain

沒有天空

2008-11-12T13:06:00.001+08:00

天上的空氣再希薄卻還是灌溉著成群的雲朵

有雲的一天不可能

沒有天空

那些花兒 -范瑋琪

2008-11-11T16:24:00.000+08:00

卡卡﹣快教我彈﹣好好聽！

小小﹣妳的guitar生鏽了沒？：）

那些花兒

作詞：樸樹/英文詞：范瑋琪　作曲：樸樹　編曲：陳偉/林於賢

那片笑聲讓我想起我的那些花兒，

在我生命每個角落靜靜為我開著，

我曾以為我會永遠守在他身旁，

今天我們已經離去在人海茫茫。

他們都老了吧？

他們在哪裡呀？

我們就這樣各自奔天涯。

啦……啦……啦……想她。

啦……啦……她還在開嗎？

啦……啦……啦……去呀！

她們已經被風吹走散落在天涯。

**有些故事還沒講完那就算了吧！

那些心情在歲月中已經難辨真假，

如今這裡荒草叢生沒有了鮮花，

好在曾經擁有你們的春秋和冬夏。

他們都老了吧？

他們在哪裡呀？

我們就這樣各自奔天涯。

啦……啦……啦……想她。

啦……啦……她還在開嗎？

啦……啦……啦……去呀！

她們已經被風吹走散落在天涯。

Where have all the flowers gone？

Where the flowers gone？

Where have all the young girls gone？

Where did they all gone？

Where have all the young men gone？

Where the soldiers gone？

Where have all the graveyards gone？

Where have all they gone？

他們都老了吧？

他們在哪裡呀？

我們就這樣各自奔天涯。

Let There Be Love - Nat King Cole

2008-11-11T16:21:00.000+08:00

I'm in blue?

No, i think I'm entering a relaxing mode.

Well, ok ok u might be right... I might be a little blue.

Who doesn't?

Who kicked a hole in the sky so the heavens would cry over me?
Who stole the soul from the sun in a world come undone at the seams?

Let there be love
Let there be love

I hope the weather is calm as you sail up your heavenly stream
Suspended clear in the sky are the words that we sing in our dreams

Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love

Come on Baby Blue
Shake up your tired eyes
The world is waiting for you
May all your dreaming fill the empty sky
But if it makes you happy
Keep on clapping
Just remember I'll be by your side
And if you don't let go it's gonna pass you by

Who kicked a hole in the sky so the heavens would cry over me?
Who stole the soul from the sun in a world come undone at the seams?

Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love

***

Let there be you,
Let there be me.
Let there be oysters
Under the sea.

Let there be wind,
An occassional rain.
Chile con carne,
Sparkling champagne --

Let there be birds
To sing in the trees,
Someone to bless me
Whenever I sneeze.

Let there be cuckoos,
A lark and a dove,
But first of all, please --
Let there be love.

~interlude~

Let there be cuckoos,
A lark and a dove,
But first of all, please --
Let there be love...

Hmmm umm...love

Hmmm umm...love

Let there be love.

Rain melancholy in dark weary soul

2008-11-11T15:50:00.009+08:00

This morning my ticket is set after the BIG mistake u discover for me yesterday; This afternoon, your hotel booking is set as well....

You make me cant help looking forward to the trip - which is not supposed to be in this way.
I thought I would be having my first escapades in life melancholy, running away from my doubtful life choices, reaching in my warm homeland and walking in dark, catching smiles while I show mine first by visiting my old buddies with gifts and good memory about them as to surprise them...

Now, you added too much sparkles in my trip, new face, new place, new experiences... Im so excited and looking forward to it... which i should never have. Cos I should not have left my home so happily.

You are very caring, strive for things that i mentioned i wanted to have and led me to find my Tarzan-Forrest Gump to show me the beauty in the jungle. And then finalised to: sandy beach, sunset, Choya, Chalet, you even added a partition? I expected to take it even if it is a King size bed and forgive your 'forgetfulness'....
Thank You for pampering me... Im taking advantage of it cos Im here with the weary soul and being the one pampering others in my life and now i would really like to experience some in return... but from a stranger new friend? Do i deserve so? i will make it up for you by helping you in anyway i could.

But you shouldnt have to do so. Havent you hurt enough from your last trial on pampering someone? Why dont you act selfishly this time like I do and Try to Ask For Something instead of ask what others want? You are one of a kind.

Life is always about balancing. It is a good lesson to learn and Im going to learn it well.

*** *** *** ***

I'm a good real life example. You are going thru what MOH being thru, heaven and almost to hell.

I feel my life is meaningless, wondering around the cyberspace doing nothing with no direction at all.

Confronted MOH, but she said don't ask anymore or she will leave this world. So for the sake of my young kids, I just keep quit (bear with the pain every hour, thinking about it) and live my life as nothing ever happened.

Sometimes, I wish one day I will wake up from this bad evil dream!

My heart was already broken to pieces and now the broken pieces started to disintegrate by molecules by molecules until vapourise.

There is no longer any love. I don't hate her. What's done, already done. I cannot turn back the clock. Do you believe in fate?

But deep inside I know she is sad, but not sure whether sad for marrying me, sad to leave her ex, sad to treat me this way, sad to make me sad... I don't know.

from day 1, I trusted her, I worked hard and late daily to raise my family better (in term of monetary) and give everything to her. There was no sign of anything, and then the betrayal and many lies. I just don't get it. She isn't those type of person. Maybe both of them are so free, and get back together during office hours. They even went for outastation meeting together.

it never does, or never will which I do not want to happen but it seem that it will go this way. The feeling of being betrayed is too strong and I'm a guy! A guy who knew that his wife is sleeping with ex bf and what actually they did, what they sms or say to each other every hour except after office where she "return" back to her normal self.

Maybe you are attract to him you did not get earlier but that doesn't mean that you can start to flirt and cheat - Do you really want to see him end up like me?

..care about family but there is no love anymore... feel that cannot imagine living in the next 10, 20, or even 50 years growing old together with him due to lack of passion, caring and compassionate life anymore. It used to happen to those couples who are married for many many years and there are no longer any cuddling, hugs, kisses, jokes, sweet talk, intimate sessions etc. (those stuffs that feel good when you are dating or being court). love expectation might be higher and maybe your are a perfectionist too. Wrong? are expecting a natural hug or a kiss when he leave or get home from office. You need him to say something sweet before going to bed and hug you while sleeping, naturally. You need him to feel close to you, everytime but after so long you given up. Wrong? You expect him to say and praise you that you look lovely today or in that red dress? -- Well, I did most of the stuffs but see what happened!

FYI, I'm an outdoor person when young (you name it), used to go camping, jungle trekking, love sports (I can play many type of sport and some say I'm very good) or anything outdoor and challengings.

I also good in badminton, soccer, squash, basketball, hockey or you can say, multi talented in sport, or born naturally inside me. I gave away all these (my active lifestyle) after marrying MOH.

We used to go the beach, watch the sunset, help my kids flying the kite, playing with waves and runing down the yellow sandy beach in Morib or PD.

I did religiously (at least once a week, sometime more) accompany MOH for many hours (without any single complain) to the shopping mall/hypermarket/pasar everytime, carrying, selecting and serching for stuffs. Sometimes more than a few times a week.

But she still went back to her ex-bf maybe because of the strong passion she feeling and the temptation too strong. She love the attention, the lust and being court passionately by her ex again. (since both are teachers and very free)

I wish MOH go for a divorce first before going back to him as that would be easier for me to accept and less painful..

I've been there, feel it, experience it and see all, well I have no feeling and do not believe in true love anymore. I'm just like a walking zombie, living just for the sake of my kids only.

>>> I failed to control it, in fact my mind lost to him and make me a living zombie, now.

>>> I know but I lost everything, I lost my self confidence, a big blow to my self-esteem, my belief system, trust, my sense of security, my life....

I cannot really concentrate, my eyes are tired, my mind are tired (I never felt this before the affair) and will not stay long.

I did but feel devastated when found out the affair. The feeling is more painful than physical feeling or being cut alive by knife.

I like my house clean & tidy and pickup my kids stuffs every minutes or when passing by, daily and used to this routines. I love DIY stuffs, I did many for my house from repairing toilet to build my own cabinet.

>>> I just wish I can turn back the clock, that all.

He is my life and soul now. I love him so much (the only love remain in me) and so said I over pampered him.

Also MOH think and feel otherwise, I guessed.Maybe but also many of my colleagues/friends commented the same things too and wished that I'm their husband. I believe & think I did good in this area (be a great husband) but left me devastated at the end. I just don't get it. Why? Is a handsome guy important to women? Can a women love 2 different guys at the same time?

>>>> but from the outlook of her, she doesn't look anything like commiting an affair. She's soft spoken, polite, look innocent, shy, and passive and not good in socializing. She is not that beautiful either. (I mean from facial)

No but I will leave her when my kids get older.

>>> you think a lot and future, I dare not, I take one steps at one time now.

***

Charlene - I've Never Been To Me

2008-11-08T12:51:00.006+08:00

Live version

Man's vocal with beautiful pictures

Dance Remix

Hey lady, you lady
cursing at your life
you are a discontented mother
and a regimented wife
I´ve no doubt
you dream about the things you never do
but I wish someone had talked to me like I want to talk to you

Oh, I have been to Georgia & California & anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacher man
and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places & friendly faces
Because I had to be free
I have been to paradise but I have never been to me...

Please lady please lady
don´t just walk away
Cause I´ve this need to tell you
why I am all alone today
I can see so much of me
still living in your eyes
won´t you share a part
of a weary heart that has lived a million lives

Oh, I have been to Nice & the isle of Greece
when I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlo in Monte Carlo
and showed them what I have got
I have been undressed by kings
and I have seen some things that a woman aint s´pose to see
I have been to paradise but I have never been to me...

Hey, you know what paradise is?
It is a lie
a fantasy we created about people & places
as we like them to be
but you know what truth is?
it is that little baby you are holding
and it is that man you fought with this morning
the same one you´re going to make love to tonight
that is truth that is love

sometimes I have been to crying for unborn children
that might´ve made me complete
but I, I took the sweet life
I never knew I would be bitter from the sweet

I spent my life exploring
the subtle whoreing
that cost to much to be free
hey lady I have been to paradise
but I have never been to me...

I have been to paradise but I have never been to me...

dear fb, i know Paradise simply means Now. Let's keep looking for Paradise and live at the fullest, shall we? Thank you for being with me now.

2008-11-04T14:18:00.003+08:00

I've been there, feel it, experience it and see all, well I have no feeling and do not believe in true love anymore. I'm just like a walking zombie, living just for the sake of my kids only, else i would have long gone from this world.

I feel your pain when you use the word zombie. Please dont be.

I failed to control it, in fact my mind lost to him and make me a living zombie, now.

The world is still great and beautiful out there.

I know but I lost everything, I lost my self confidence, a big blow to my self-esteem, my belief system, trust, my sense of security, my life....

The grass is greener...

2008-11-03T12:24:00.012+08:00

曾經有一位傻氣的風兒；曾經有一位傻氣的雨兒

他們捲起過了一陣又一陣的風暴，卻又徐徐地平息了。

是看清了現實的忙碌；還是看清了自己的無能；

是經不過時間的磨練；還是經不過自己心裡的卡子。。。

我最新的座右銘就是：

「是什麼也好，我都不管了。」

此句是褒貶都好，您也別替我操心了。

「到底有誰能最清楚事實呢？」

這是我學過最有趣的一個論點了﹣是風兒悄悄地告訴我的。

對，他還是經常地在我耳邊細語。

你問我喜歡什麼；還剩下什麼？

我喜歡讓風兒經常逗留在我身邊

我們都靜靜地不發一句

沒煽情沒激動沒起伏, 只有悄悄細語。

這已經很完美了。

關於老天爺也給不了的完美﹣

我想我是明白的，我知道我可以做到的。

既使我不，我也盡可能留下讓人心曠神怡的一片翠綠。

The House Test

2008-10-31T14:20:00.000+08:00

What the House Test Says About You

You are happy with who you are, and you don't have an inflated sense of self importance. You do your own thing quietly. You don't take up a lot of space.

You aren't against being community oriented, but it's not really your thing. You tend to prefer to focus on your family and not the neighborhood around you.

You are a calm, contemplative, and smart person. You take ideas very seriously.

You take good care of your physical appearance. You dress well, stay in shape, and do your best to look great.

You are moved by romance and love. You are optimistic about people, and you love hearing about happy endings.

The House Test

That’s make the 2 of us

2008-10-28T14:05:00.002+08:00

Im so desperately lonely

That’s make the 2 of us

Personality Test

2008-10-26T13:04:00.000+08:00

Personality Test

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Birthdays In Love

2008-10-26T12:15:00.002+08:00

Your Birthdate: December 10

You don't just believe in love at first site - you've experienced it.
You develop crushes pretty easily, but keeping your interest is another matter!
You are very prone to love - hate relationships.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 2

You are most compatible with people born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, and 28th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Your Birthdate: August 27

For you, love is a feeling that lingers for really long time - even after a relationship is totally over.
In fact, you still make have strong feelings for the first person you fell in love with.
You usually are reluctant to end relationships. And sometimes you're the last to know that things are ending!

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 5

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 5

You are most compatible with people born on the 9th, 18th, and 27th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Your Birthdate: February 17

You love being in love... so much so that it's very hard for you to be single.
Unfortunately, it's difficult for you to stay in love over time. Too many people intrigue you!
Only your true love will be able to keep you interested over time.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 1

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4

You are most compatible with people born on the 8th, 17th, and 26th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Your Birthdate: December 23

People wouldn't take you for a passionate person - and that's where they'd be wrong.
You can develop deep emotions quickly, and you're the type most likely to move in with someone after a few dates.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 3

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 1

You are most compatible with people born on the 5th, 14th, and 23rd of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Way Back Into Love, Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett (Movie:Drew Barrymore)

2008-10-24T12:17:00.005+08:00

This is the best version and I LOVE THIS.

From the movie, where u can see both Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore in the movie

With Chinese subtitle of the song.

此曲+戲幕有中文字幕

The song is performed in full here, but in pictures.

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

Oh oh oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

Oh oh oh

Be Still My Heart 容我寧靜

2008-10-24T11:58:00.004+08:00

Be Still My Heart

Enjoy the peaceful tranquility of nature

be still

be still...

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.

容我寧靜

面對寧靜的山光水色

讓一切的煩擾在心湖中沉澱、沉澱。。。

我的心啊，

你當默默無聲

專等候神，

因為我的盼望是從他而來。

自由潛水 Scuba Diving

2008-10-20T20:37:00.006+08:00

自由潛水是包含所有水下閉氣的活動的統稱，如：水中狩獵、水中攝影、水中閉氣比賽、和某種程度的浮潛……等等。最被大家注意的是閉氣的競賽、競賽者不用任何水中供氣的設備試圖以一口氣在水中到更深更遠或是在水下更久，這樣的競賽己成為一項極限運動。

水肺潛水又稱 SCUBA DIVING (SCUBA - 全名為「Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus」)，指潛水員自行攜帶水下呼吸系統所進行的潛水活動。其中有開放式(open-circuit)呼吸系統，及封閉式(closed-circuit)呼吸系統，原理都是利用調節器(Regulator)裝置把氣瓶中的壓縮氣體轉化成可供人體正常呼吸的壓力。

開放式呼吸系統相對較簡單，亦為現時較多人使用的系統，此種系統供應呼吸用氣體給潛水員單次使用並被排走。

封閉式呼吸系統又稱循環呼吸器(rebreather)，此系統提供可循環使用的供氣。潛水員使用供氣後，系統會將二氧化碳吸收，並重新注入適當氧氣，再供應給予潛水員。

此類系統可提供壓縮空氣、高氧(Nitrox)或多種混合氣體給潛水員使用。使用不同的氣體，可針對不同的潛水時限、深度，以避免減壓症(Decompression Sickness) （俗稱潛水夫病或沉箱病)或氧氣中毒(Oxygen Toxicity)。

水肺潛水一般亦分為休閒潛水(Recreational Diving)，技術潛水(Technical Diving)和工業潛水（Commercial Diving). 休閒潛水泛指觀賞娛樂性的潛水活動，通常深度不大於40公尺．技術潛水泛指具挑戰性的潛水活動，如大深度的潛水、水底洞穴、沉船等的潛水活動．　工業潛水泛指含工業性質的潛水活動，如水下工程、船舶工業等．

目前國際休閒潛水系統繁多，一般較為常見的有：
01. NAUI (National Association of Underwater Instructors 水中教練國際協會) 1960年成立
02. PADI (Professional Association of Diving Instructor 專業潛水教練協會) 1966年成立
03. SSI (Scuba Schools International 國際水肺潛水學校) 1970年成立
04. CMAS (Confederation Mondiale des Activities Subaquatiques 國際潛水員協會) 1970年成立

宋祖英 - 望月

2008-10-12T09:54:00.003+08:00

非常迷人的歌聲和俏人兒。

望着月亮的时候
常常想起你
望着你的时候
就想起月亮
世界上最美
最美的是月亮
比月亮更美
更美的是你
没有你的日子里
我常常望着月亮
那溶溶的月色
就像你的脸庞
月亮抚慰
抚慰着我的心
我的泪水
浸湿了月光
月亮在天上
我在地上
就像你在海角
我在天涯
月亮升的再高
也高不过天
你走的多么远
也走不出我的思念

The Gem Of Life 女人最想要的鑽石...

2008-10-10T07:20:00.005+08:00

...就是永恆的愛情

珠光寶氣 Promo - 黎姿打鞦韆

Secret Garden ～心和心之間互動的故事。

I'm sorry

沒人願意停留，一同聆聽生命的聲音。

致四號浪漫情人

Instructions for Life by The Dalai Lama

A weeping little birdy

I am being blackmailed today.

Black Pepper Maniac 黑胡椒狂人

The Seven-year Period

冷雨夜 BEYOND 1991演唱会 - 家強

我去了

What is available. Is it your available or my available?

醉

你有想過嗎？

Why Do Age Old Problems Remain?

Why Do Age Old Problems Remain?

Let me tell you—there are no quick fixes.

At least not at the conscious level.

But fortunately, the Human Mind has Multiple Levels.

What Is Possible

Now Imagine If…

Out of Track... is out.

The big wind blows.....“大風吹，吹走有小雞雞的人！”

你知道國學嗎？GUOXUE

The MOMsense - Anna Roefrend

For my little elf, 魂牽夢繞的一天。

看到這六種生物請閃

看到這六種生物請閃

Don McLean - Vincent

The Second Jane's "My-Trip"

HOLIDAY MOOD is on!!!!

Can You Become a Creature of New Habits?

Can You Become a Creature of New Habits?

Rosicrucian, Freemanson and Wicca

Friendship

人生

人生

當大部分人都在關注你飛得高不高時，只有少部分人關心你飛得累不累

What career will suit your personality?

Party Fortnightly「兩週一聚」

Colour

Dear Joy, Welcome to the family! November 15, 2008

取？捨？

陳淑樺 - 笑紅塵 & 滾滾紅塵

潘秀瓊 情人的眼淚 Poon Sow Keng - Lover's Tears

Birthdays

So Close - Jon Mclaughlin

Time falls away, but these small hours, still remain - Rob Thomas [Little Wonders}

沒有天空

那些花兒 -范瑋琪

Let There Be Love - Nat King Cole

Rain melancholy in dark weary soul

Charlene - I've Never Been To Me

The grass is greener...

The House Test

That’s make the 2 of us

That’s make the 2 of us

Personality Test

Birthdays In Love

Way Back Into Love, Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett (Movie:Drew Barrymore)

Be Still My Heart 容我寧靜

自由潛水 Scuba Diving

宋祖英 - 望月

The Gem Of Life 女人最想要的鑽石...

當大部分人都在關注你飛得高不高時，
只有少部分人關心你飛得累不累

潘秀瓊情人的眼淚 Poon Sow Keng - Lover's Tears