在眾人心裡邊
主婦本來就應該７／２４永永遠遠侍候家人
沒日沒夜地打點家中各大小事務～出得廳堂﹠入的廚房。
並且是享受的！
過去我和家人相處的每一秒已經不復返時間
對我來說都是決對無價的。
I won't trade a moment for anything
未來的當然也如此
如果說：兩性之間需要空間
那麼，７／２４的主婦更是迫切地需要吧
毛毛都將快要四歲了
也就是說我有超過四年完完全全投入於
完成我的完美生活的大工程裡
～沒歇過～沒娘家～沒～
從醫院回家的第一個晚上
至今我還未曾完全脫離半夜起來調配餵奶的情況～有空再解釋
平均我每晚還得起至少１次
由其是毛毛剛出世之後的那一年裡
對每天都有嚴厲的要求﹣衛生、環境
甚至連他呼吸的空氣我都要管。
是香港人湊仔的環境使然還是我個人得了產後憂鬱症
我還攪不清楚
我只知道我被巨大的生活壓力壓得好難受
免不了讓可憐的孩子受了苦
就是在毛毛調皮的時候
我未必能有耐心去接受和教導
反而用了打罵的方式。
書上說：罵孩子的父母在罵之前請考濾一下：
小小的小人兒真可能懂那麼多道理﹠自制麼？
你是在泄慾地懷恨孩子還他真的該被罵？
我相信在他成年之前，我都必需記住這點﹣不要用罵的。
“我美麗可愛又溫柔的媽媽，現在怎麼聲調、臉孔全不同了？”
我還依稀記的小時候被師長打罵的感受。我再也不願意嚇怕我的小寶貝了。
打﹣更是個大忌了。
此舉只會讓孩子記住你的威嚴而不是教訓
難不免他下次有機會也會在別的小朋友身上試用一下
到時後父母就頭疼了。
毛毛兩歲的生日那天開始，就每天有３小時是完全的離開了我～
規定了幼兒園只能收足２歲的小孩兒。
他的同學們比他幸福多了，父母特地請假帶他們外國出旅行／海洋公園。
我這個無情的母親卻迫不及待把他送了去，下午回來之後才為他慶生。
從此已後就開始了他的學園生活。
他上學之前我都是等週末就到菜市場去買一星期的蔬菜﹠肉纇
回來後就花幾小時站在廚房裡洗切好存在冰箱裡
週日就每天把冰菜、冰肉連飯煮好餵他吃。
這其中牽涉的決定可太多了
看的是西方的書籍
被婆婆監篤的是中華兼香港文化
沒盡完善給孩子就不是個好母親：
處裡過後的食物不立刻吃用就不是新鮮
就連剛煮好的食物，是應該先放涼了
在能直接送到嬰兒口裡的同時是有溫度而非冷的。
顧忌的是大人把一匙匙的食物先送到自己口邊吹涼在送到孩子口裡是不衛生的
把細菌和口氣（女人是卑微的）都送了給小孩。
最安奈不住的恐佈就是：花了心血的食物
到頭來還是成了自己的午餐﹣他不愛吃！
那段日子真的一點兒也不好受
毛爸在外也是獨力和日子拼博，我還要他替我分擔這小事麼
我們每晚都是吃在外面買回來的晚餐
後來他兩歲上學了以後
我就每天可以喘喘氣。
獨個兒買些日用品和準備非常簡單的晚餐
到了他四歲上全日時
我就可以完完全全擁有自己的時間了
我好期待能有完完整整的時間去準備一頓
有合時宜的湯水、多色蔬菜、水果、雜米和肉纇的好餐。
我也好期待當我們都有更多分開的時間，我們都會更珍愛相處的時刻。
我還未告訴你每年轉兩季之間
家裡都衣服都堆如山高！
還好～我這主婦當得也挺稱職的﹣
毛爸都愛說我像是他母親的接班人﹣把她的本領都學會了
終於獨自把毛毛帶大了，把他養得白白肥肥的
家人們也沒異議。
困在小小白鴿籠裡每天都是想著這樣的事情
幸好還未瘋掉～
世上最明白我的就是曾經為我如此忙碌過的母親
她總叫我要多休息，別忙了，別。。。
她自己就忙了６０多年還忙呢～
今天～我能放放假
把毛毛和毛爸都送到嬤嬤家去過夜
我特別覺得我好愛好愛我這兩位可愛的家人
家人＝就是＝愛恨並存的代名詞
呵呵～
臨睡前毛爸傳來個溫馨的短訊
He slept at 2245, too tired, slept without milk. sleeping like an angel. Had fun every second to play much and eat much. U sleep tight too, baby.
********************************************************************
My dear Moses 毛毛
爸爸和媽媽很享受陪你成長的每一秒～
你是我們永遠的驕傲
你也是我們心中永遠的寶貝
我們經常都向天父感恩～賜給了我們一位如此珍貴美麗的小寶貝。
他有了
像媽媽一樣豐富的情感、
像爸爸一樣寬宏的海量。
願你一輩子都．行．在主裡．永遠．光明．亮麗。
9 comments:
好羡慕毛毛，有对深爱他的爸与妈。帮我告诉他：你是幸福的。
好的。我會轉告他。說是文嬸嬸說的，還是羅老師說的？
：）
全职妈妈不易当，尤其是有婆婆“监督”的主妇，我很了解你的处境。我也希望自己能放假，哈！以后，你就多送他们父子俩回婆家过夜，那你就可以享受多一点私人空间和时间。
謝謝支持～喀喀
A nice piece which filled with warmth!
Your words on "punishing kids" remind me not to hit my daughters much when she's doing something wrong. I'll need to learn to teach her patiently.
One more thing, your description on the food in your lunch box.... I can feel what you feel as my daughter doesn't really like any food except ice-cream and candies.
Howeve, I enjoy every moments with her. And so do you, right ?
Thanks for coming, Carl.
Yes it is not easy in parenting!!
About junk food, i never give any sweets to him until he reached 3. He refused it before this age, until one day one of his teacher gave him as a reward, he started to like it but i still limit it to one piece per day or so... of cos the situation cant be controlled afterwards... but still we have to be firm at this. Especially when you and S are busy parents, you need to tell your girls' guardians that u wanted to do this firmly. My MIL taught me to implement this very strictly, eg, after nap and before dinner, strictly no sweets cos it d effect appetite. A small cup of juice/fresh fruits/biscults are allowed but nothing more than that. It is important to keep them hungry for the next meal - dinner.
Hope it helps :))
Babies simply means Adorable - who wouldnt love babies? Especially parents - our kids are our precious and we are willing to give our best to them and care of them no matter how they look like or if they are handicap etc... it cant be explained just same goes to the feelings in romance.
Yes Carl, of cos i love him more than my life.
Have u tried to experience how the decision of Man of Faith, Abraham loves God? One day a sister in Christ told me about her experience when her son encountered a car accident and the first thing she did was to bow down to God and told God to take him if thats His will. Her son survived at last but what was stunting to me is how she reacted.
It took me months to learn this and finally today I want to tell God that Im ready. :)
It's wonderful reading ur writing, so great. Even though some of the meaning I guess but I do catch up some of it. I'm also impatience with my elder daughter, I beat her when she's not listening to me.I can be crazy with her attitude. I'm so frustrated for I had to work and holiday time had to do house work and took care of my two daughters. I'd no choice for my family are far away. I have no idea how to teach. I really don't know how, who can give me idea how to teach a child who is so rebellious and naughty from what I expected plus I don't have time for them ? I give up.I really lost idea what to do.
Kids are not born to be rebellious and naughty - it is their reaction to the world to feel hatred and also trying to show that they want happiness.
Please spend more time on them to find out what they want, show care to them.
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