Dear Sister TT - July 17th, 2008

Dear Sister TT  

Thank you very much for your long email and telling me how you feel. I really-really appreciate your courage to reach out for help, although I cant promise for being really helpful but I think this attitude/action alone is already a big step and you are already in path towards success. I'm sure you felt much better now!!

Sadly that I cant comment much on your past. As a sister in Christ, all I should tell you is that we have to stand in the right position as a Christian. Please find my comments in the CC blog especially my comment in the first 2-3 post from the top of the page, I responded in a blog written by Pastor N in order to get his attention directly. I asked a question about how should a Christian stand as a listener. I dont know very much about it too so thats why i asked him. I am sure he is a wise leader and hope he will give us all a good explanation as a guidance of being a Christian.   

I might be able to understand some of the reason of your sadness. As i was born and raised in the small town, i understand that people stay too focus on their daily lives as well as others. Sometimes they are just lacking of topics to talk to others, they comment on other's physical appearance or activities and they do not know the importance of watching their tongue and fire at will and allow others being hurt by words from their mouth. People keep hurting each other and putting others to the edge. It is like a culture/norm of the town that everyone does the same thing each and everyday and they are defending themselves with their own ways as well, but some fragile ones would be hurt so deeply with no way back, just like you and I. I hated it so much. Everytime I told Ed, my husband, how much I miss home and i wish to be home and I miss my town. But after a day or two being there, I cant wait to get away from it and so the next time when I told him that I miss it again, he just doesnt believe it anymore :))

From my point of view, or from what i have heard and learned from my current studies in Theology. A good listener should just listen and pray without giving much of the personal comments. We could calm him down, we could tell him that he is being understood and he is being noticed. The point is, we are not there to 'help' them, we are there to pray for them = this is the rule of being a counsellor. We have to admit that we, as Christian, are not saints. We are nobody or having nothing different from non-believers, except that we have a mutual and clear eternity dream. And as to go for it, we try to live out as a good person in our daily life, JJWD.

I believe it is not easy to implement in our daily lives that we tends to give comments to others but we ourselves sometimes feel difficult to accept comments from others. It consists a lot in the pride and willingness to listen to others. When we can think from this point of view, we will be able to learn to back off and plainly listen and then pray for him.

We need to learn to become a good listener as well as to spread our pain. Identify emotions and deal with it, for ourselves and others=EQ. This is also how a Pray Partner禱伴/靈友Soulmate comes into our lives. That the couple is willing to spend time and energy to remember his partner each and everyday and to remember the worries of his partner and to pray for him. It goes the same the other way round. This is to keep a long term pray partnership. We do not comment on others sadness because when we comment, we have judged before we summarized our comments and this is wrong in Christianity, that we should never judge others as we are not perfect. We are all sinners and we do not judge because we are not the Creator with power of Creation. Only He can judge us in the end of the days.

When i learned this, i feel so happy in my life! When I dont judge others, i keep my comments on their failures to myself only and i learn from it too. To the outside world, the world is willing to talk to me cos I have always been a good listener and they are released after they shared themselves.

Other than this, I wish to share with you about the purpose of to be a Christian. Im sure you have heard of the book namely, Purpose Driven's Life. From there I get very clear and good picture for the meaning of a Christian.  

I have got lots of review of this book that we should not be too fond of the content of this book, like the saying goes, nothing is extreme - never take anything too serious, just take it easy, Im here to refer to this book but i also want to remind you that we should not follow it too seriously.  

In short, God designed the world and us, and He has also designed us with our free mind to choose from right and wrong, or else He would have made us all believe in Him naturally without any choices, just like we were born with the ability to walk and talk, etc.

From the book, i have a glance about the meaning of a Christian is to stay in a close relationship with God each and everyday, learning WWJD "What Would Jesus Do", and to share the Gospel to the world. From this, I have a whole new idea about why are we here living on the earth(1). I get a clear guideline for how to live my days(2) and I get a good explanation on things happening around us, both of the sad ones(3) and the good ones(4). Most importantly, i have a strong urge to continue living on earth(5) and live at the fullness of the day(6) cos I have an eternity dream (7) that God promised to me.

1&2-Cos we live for God and not us. 人帶使命來到世上，而非為了做自己喜歡做的事.  人們如走迷的羊，偏行己路

2-From the learning God's words especially the Ten Commandments, i know i cant let go of my lust so easily or i know i should be good to my parents. We all knew it from common sense since we were kids, but how many of us really implement it and fighting successfully with Devil each and everyday? Most importantly, God said, it is sin even just having lust run in thoughts. And from here after being reborn, I do not do bad things to others cos I know I am being closely watched by God.

3-When I pray and i still dont get what i want, i know that God has prepared something even better for me and will give it to me in later days. I have full confidence in Him-全人交托. Most importantly, when we pray, we do not give a ‘wishlist' to God and command Him to give it all to us. To pray means to 'tell' Him what we want.

4-I cant stop to thank Him repeatedly

5-I see so many lost souls out there and I grief as Jesus did. I cant let it go and I have the strong urge to share it with everyone around us, especially our loves ones- family and friends.

6-We will all be rewarded!

7-God has promised for eternity life for me and it will be the most beautiful thing ever.

What I could have responded to you today is that, make sure you realized what do you want to do in your life and why are you here, and most importantly, design your life! It starts and goes from your own bare hand.

Stay in the fire of serving God, 

Stay focus on your life,

Stay being happy,

And please stay being a good person after God's own heart.合神心意的人。

Emmanuel